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First thing I had to do was unfuck yesterday's entry. I talked with Freya's friend today, wanted to let her know that I'd gotten an e-mail from Freya. Freya's friend thought it was weird and was going to check it out for me. I then checked my mail, and I am so glad that I gave the response that I did. Freya seems to be under the impression that she was the only one that got hurt in the whole deal. Maybe it's just that men can't have feelings other than lust, so I must have been ok. My interpretation of the whole thing was that, because I'm a man, all I want to do is fuck the closest think available.I'm not about to tell you that I don't want to be with beautiful women, I'm not about to say that I don't notice beauty. But I do know how long I can last with a woman who is great looking but average in intelligence and drive. About 2 months, maybe 3. I have a friend who is sweet, nice, pretty smart, but she will never be accused of being "quick". Ok, she was better than pretty, much better, about 2 - 3 inches taller than me and an ass that was fantastic. Also she was not that responsive in bed, well, maybe quiet is a better word, and I need the verbal from a play partner. We both ended up going our own ways later. We still talk and I'm a bit protective of her. We tried doing the sex thing after her last break up with her b/f from hell, it just didn't work. We have two totally different styles, she likes them tall, and I think that, that was the only requirement. But I digress (badly).
So Freya's big thing was that I was only interested in her body, and that because there was no sex, I left. It probably is true that if there had been sex, I would have stuck around a lot longer, and I would probably be more screwed up about it than I already am. I think sex with her would have been like heroin (sorry, I'm actually virgin on that one). I would have felt great, there would have been no problems in the world, and then I would have come down needing my next fix. And I would have gone through a lot of hell to get that fix every once in a while. It is possible to pussy whip me - I think, but it would take work. I don't like being weak, and the first time I ever get hit with sex being with held manipulatively, I'm pretty well gone ... unless it's done right. I can imagine scenes where I could be pussy whipped.
No the main reason I broke off the so called relationship was that she used the phase that pays, "I'm not sure if I want to be with you, or if I just want to be with SOMEone."
When Karise used it, I was gone in about 3 hours (That was the first breakup; really big dramatic scene with me screaming "fuck you, have a nice life" and slamming the door and driving off. We talked 3 months later ... like I said, Karise's and my relationship is long, strange, and strong). When Freya used it I was gone in about 3 days. See, I can deal with it if someone want's some time alone and asks for that time (don't just say "I need some time", say "I need a day" or a week or a month and see if I'll wait, but pick a time unit.). The whole thing is I'm not going to wait around while someone decides if I'm worth being with. My feeling with Freya was, something along the lines of "Tell you what, I'm going to leave now. You tell me how it turned out."
Oh, man, I just got a call from a woman who loves my voice and I'm going to go meet her. This is going to be interesting.