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Ok, I got into the gym last night, that was good, and I have my last swing dance class this evening.I'm running more than a little tired, but that is quite ok.
Karise asked me to stop masturbating for this week until I see her and Krystal this weekend. That means that it's going to be 2 more days before I get laid. I say laid, because when I get down to Eugene, I'm going to be SO DAMN HORNY that I'm going to be somewhat animalistic. Probably not a whole lot of tenderness going on at that point. However, this is what Karise likes though, so who am I to displease her. In theory, I'm going to be doing film Sunday afternoon. This could be interesting. I mean, I'm an exhibitionist from the word go, but film is a different matter. Apparently I get $50.00 for it. The girls get a percentage. I REALLY would like to get a percentage for myself, but that is just the capitalist in me. There is something about having equity that I like.
My attitude is very interesting to me right now, I'm starting to do a LOT of internet chat, and I'm starting to form relationships with various people on the net. This is all very new to me, I got hit by the whole "fake id" thing back in the mid-eighties, someone by the name of PartyGirl or something. It did not occur to me that "she" might be a 15-year-old kid doing the net equivalent of a "prank call". When I was back in NC seeing babydoll she was telling me about a woman "Emily" that was fucking with people, up to and including a fake suicide scare. Had a lot of people worried. So I've been talking to 4 or 5 women that I'm interested in actually getting to know. One or two of them are actually single, never been married and have no children. Some of them are interested in just playing with me, and I'm only interested in playing with them. I talked with one of them last night and was interested in finding out what the arrangement was between her and her boyfriend. It was important for me to know what the ground rules are, before I start thinking of playing with someone.
Now the absence of children may sound like a petty thing (and maybe it is) but at this point in my life, if I hook up with someone I would like to come to the table as a "marriage virgin". I have no ex-wives, and I have no kids. I'm looking for the same. I'm not going to try to justify my thoughts, feelings or desires. I'm not even sure I could explain them, let alone justify them.
Karise has accused me of being a closet traditionalist, that I'm going to find "the one", and all thought of ANY other women will be over. Of course Karise is going to be an issue with who ever I hook up with. I mean, she's my best friend, my closest confidant, she's not going away any time soon.
I need to leave now, Like I said, my last dance class is tonight and it's way up in BFE, and I need to go if I want to make it.
22:14
Man, I have not had a walking hardon like this since I was a kid. I've already let Krystal and Karise that I'm probably going to be going for MY pleasure only when I first walk through the door, specifically, I'm either going to be bending some one over or I'm going to be pushing them down to their knees. Krystals response was, "I'm your sub, use me." - ya know, much as I like this, it's still going to take some getting used to, I was not raised to "just take my pleasure".