I'm going to take most of this from a letter I just wrote to someone who is looking for someone to explore the whole SM world with:Ok, what kind of experiences have you had? That will help. Also, what are your interests, is it just D&S?, or are there some other elements to this? I've got a friend I was talking to this evening, we're looking at having a "bondage 101" session. I tie her, and she works with me until I think I can keep her bound. Then we do my "final" where I tie her and she tries to get out of it.
We figure that what I really need is to find a mentor who I can basically be a "lieutenant" to. Some one who can coach me in dishing out pain. I have no problem pushing someones psych boundaries (safe words get REALLY important in these cases). I got to do that tonight also. I just really get off on someone submitting to me. I asked her permission to enter her personal space, and then gently wrapped my hand around her throat. I gently put a bit of pressure on with my fingers. I kind of liked it, but then she leaned forward into my hand. ... shudder, damn I liked that, I ended up adding a little more pressure and then we broke the contact. It was really cool her response when we broke was something along the lines of "you got just a little rough right there at the end", and my response was, "I was fine until you leaned into me", and her, "oh, I understand, I was RIGHT there."
I don't know if that translated, but by god I liked it.
Now as for you being dominated in order to know how to dominate someone, that may or may not be "true". Some people believe this, others don't. I'm not sure how I feel on this subject, but I also know that somewhere in me is a switch. I don't know if anyone can get through bootcamp with out going deeply submissive at some point, for some time period. I just don't want you to be under the impression that "I have to submit to someone if I want to be a true dominant, and get the official card and plaque." You MIGHT but you don't HAVE to.
it's late so I might not be making total sense right now, or I could be speaking clear as a bell. talk to you tomorrow afternoon (thursday). Again, I would like to have an idea of what your experience background is. Also, what have you read on the subject?
* end of letter.
That was pretty much it. When Mouse leaned into my hand, OH MY GOD. It wasn't sexual really, but it was. It was just so much control.